Hey love ,
It's a 1 year 9 month journey for us , we/i thought that we could last . But then , just because we're too impulsive that night to make that decision . I regret , what about you ? Rememeber how we met ? We met in a horrible school , nobody wants to study in there . Everything started with a mini performance at the foyer , how sweet . Our very first date was at west mall (ok not a very suitable place for dates) , but i was happy because you took a day off from you bball just to accompany me . Thank you . In between , a little stuff caught up there which make us had a little cold war although we broke up . To me , we never end . No matter what .
Sooner or later , you knew that i was the one you love . I am thankful for that . At first i couldn't forget what you've done to me . It's your effort which make me forget , i see how much you love me , love us , love our relationship . We were so happy , like little lovely bird . You take note every single thing of me , like e.g. what i want or what i wish for . I feel so bless . & every time we quarrel , i die die also won't say sorry even if it's my fault . You're always the one , thank you . I am stubborn , i'll never allow myself to lose my pride . Because you understand me too well <3
Slowly , that utmost trust you have for me slowly become lesser . & I became tired , because i always think that a r/s without trust , it's nothing . That night , i did reply your text i swear . I've no idea why you call me & say those words to me . I was unwell that night , i hope you know . I am also sorry for yelling at you that night . I blamed you for making that decision , thats why i didn't bother to text you or what . Perhaps you know it was your fault for making that decision , & you regret . You asked me that i said 'no' , i am sorry . Because i really think that you have zero trust in me . Like e.g. i didn't contact any of your friend you said i did . Now i tried to bring us back (although i know it's kinda impossible) . But that little hope in me make me hold on , it's tiring . I felt as if like i am a fool waiting for the stars from the sky to drop . Because i've never do this to any of my ex before . Maybe is because i thought of , since we've come so far why not just hold on a little more , put down a bit of my pride . That may bring us back ?
As for yesterday's incident , i am not angry or what anymore . I forgive you , just that i can't bring myself to trust what you say like what you told me . I am afraid you will meet some girls out there , you know i am very self conscious . I am not pretty enough for you to love me , i am not capable enough to make you take a look at me a little longer like what you did to other girl (maybe) with your friends. I seriously speaking , hate every single of your friends . Like how you hated my friend . A few hours later , i really find myself stupid for getting angry . What right do i have ? Or we have ? Or maybe is because you said you won't go even if you're single . I actually blame myself for giving you too much care , so it makes you get too annoyed . I really gave us up when i found out the truth , i blame myself for acting smart to find out the truth . But your 'Yes , i do' hold me back a little . Damn .
But now i see our distance , drifting away ... Like we couldn't feel each other anymore . Is this the end ? I don't know. I know you love night life , until that limit where by you've to lie to me . This is really the last hope i have , after this i am really going to move on .
No matter you still love me or your feeling have already faded , please don't remember my flaws . That would at least make me look pretty in your impression of me ? Some people told me 'People lie is either because they are afraid you might get mad , & you leave them OR they just didn't put you in their eyes , they don't even respect you.' So which one are you ? I really WISH to believe you did nothing that night , but it's hard.. From what i see now , you're trying to know someone better than me , prettier than me , just to forget me is it ? So if you're reading this , at least text me & let me know , would you ? That would a better gift than marche . haha .
With love ,
xoxo
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